


Here's to Us

by K_cash97



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Military, Angst, F/F, Fluff, References to Depression, Slow Burn, There will be more players from the USWNT, eventually smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-27 22:31:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18748405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/K_cash97/pseuds/K_cash97
Summary: Christen was new, and she hates being new.A new job. A new state across the country from her family. A new college with a completely different degree plan.Everything was changing and Christen had no idea why she had done this to herself.





	1. What the fuck have I gotten myself into?

Thinking back to high school Christen had so many opportunities set out before her. She was great at sports. She excelled academically and got along with almost everyone, students and teachers alike. She had done the standard thing of applying to multiple colleges, getting accepted to all of them and even offered scholarships to attend. But it didn’t feel right. She had always dreamt of going to an amazing university and starting her life as an independent adult with a bang. But now that she was here and needed to decide what she was going to do she realized she didn’t want any of it. 

She couldn’t really put any thought or meaning behind why she had felt that way. Not until she was driving around in the middle of the night, having made up some excuse for her parents to let her be gone all night, and realized that she wasn’t happy. She had worked her ass off her entire life to do everything she thought she was dreaming of and now she realized that those weren’t her dreams. 

So, what does any panicked teenager do when faced with the idea of stepping into a future that they don’t want? 

Apparently, for Christen, you do something really extreme. 

Such as, walking into a recruiting office with no prior information and making the split-second decision that she is going to enlist in the Army. And throw away every other plan she had ever made just because she was having an existential crisis. 

As Christen raised her right hand and swore to protect her country she had the _oh shit_ moment that most people also experience. But she didn’t feel scared or confused, not like she had. She felt the nerves and the heart racing excitement that comes from moving into the unknown. Throwing caution to the wind. Going against her parents and families wishes and advice, and just making a decision for herself that she never could have imagined. 

Of course, actually leaving for Basic Combat Training (BCT) is something that no one is ever fully prepared for. Christen had no idea what she was getting herself into and what to expect. And she definitely wasn’t prepared to wave goodbye to her crying parents as she was driven off to the airport with the other recruits. 

_What the fuck have I gotten myself into?_

The question didn’t leave her mind. 

Not while she was on the plane flying to Oklahoma. 

Not while she sat quietly in her seat on a bus full of girls being driven in the middle of the night towards a future none of them knew anything about. 

Especially not when she pulled the issued black t-shirt over her head and climbed into the bottom of her bunk bed. She looked down at her chest and read the big yellow lettering, **ARMY**. That’s who she was now. There was no going back. 

Going to sleep that first night was hell. Not used to the way the rough army green blankets scratched against her skin. Not used to the way any movement a girl made in the bay caused the metal bunks to groan in protest. And definitely not used to the muffled noise of her bunkmate above her, crying herself to sleep. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

10 weeks later, Christen found herself standing in formation in her Army Service Uniform (ASU), head held high, loudly chanting the Soldier's Creed with her battle buddies in front of their families. 

Basic training had been a new kind of hell but Christen felt amazing. She was leaving the experience with new memories that people could only dream of, with new friends that she knew would last a lifetime, and with a new feeling of camaraderie and purpose that she had never known before. 

If someone had offered her an out that first night, she would have taken it without a second thought. But now she could only see forward. She had taken a week or two to adjust to her new life but from there on she had excelled. Crushing the physical and mental games that recruits are put through in order to shape themselves into soldiers. Leaning into the challenge of leading her fellow peers after being appointed by her drill sergeants. She was made for the Army and she couldn’t see her life having gone any other way than where she was. 

That same night Christen was once again driven to the airport and placed on a plain headed for Arizona. Following BCT, soldiers must attend Advanced Individual Training (AIT) where they will learn their Military Occupational Specialty (MOS). Prior to her enlistment Christen had taken the placement test and scored high enough that she was offered a long list of jobs for her to choose from. So now she moved on to the next step of her military career in becoming a Military Intelligence Analyst. 

Christen hadn’t expected training to be easy in any way, but she also did not expect the stressors that came from learning so much information in such a condensed amount of time. She spent most of her nights during the 15 weeks in Arizona studying and cramming as much of the brand-new information into her brain in preparation for each major test. If she failed even one, she would be recycled and have to restart her training. She knew how people looked at recycled soldiers and she did everything in her power to not be one of them. 

But studying wasn’t all she did in AIT. Her and her battle buddies now had the freedom, that had been stripped from them in BCT, to do what they wanted. Her weekends were spent with friends at bowling alleys and watching movies at the on-post theatre. When they received the privilege of leaving post, they spent days out exploring the surrounding city and hiking the southern Arizona mountains. She dropped many a paycheck shopping at the local mall and enjoying eating out at restaurants, because after you’ve eaten dining facility food for months there’s nothing better than a nice steak. 

And, as would be expected from a hundred 18-20 year olds spending every day with each other, a lot of Christen’s fellow soldiers spent their time hooking up. It was like what Christen would expect was happening at her high school friend’s colleges. It’s almost impossible to prevent people from needing that release, even if they’re soldiers trained to protect their nation (especially if they’re soldiers, actually). 

Christen had been hit on by quite a few of her fellow male battle buddies, especially once they were allowed to wear their civilian clothes again. The sight of Christen in leggings and a tank top as she strolled the sidewalks with her friends almost always led to her being wolf whistled at by a few people. 

There was just something about the aggressive masculinity that flowed off of her male peers that really did not appeal to Christen in the slightest. Most of them were the same, muscly guys who walked around in bro tanks and cargo shorts flaunting the cliché American flag tattoo that almost every male soldier gets. Even before the military, she had never shown an interest in the boys at her school. Always preferring the company of her friends and teammates over the constant onslaught of boys with way to cheesy pick-up lines and overwhelming Axe body spray. 

That’s probably why when she came to the realization that she was falling for her best friend she had no problem in differentiating that she very much was into girls over boys. Though that realization did come with the highs of kissing her first girlfriend her sophomore year and attending her junior prom with said girlfriend, both clad in long flowy dresses, where they danced the night away. It also came with her first heartbreak. She knew it was a silly teen romance and that she would find love once again but she still wasn’t ready to open herself up to that kind of pain, even if that meant she also wasn’t allowing herself that connection with anyone else either. 

So, while her battle buddies spent their days fraternizing, she focused her attention on acing her tests and maintaining her physical training by alternating her time between the small desk in her room and the open floor plan of the on-post gym. 

When it come down for her time in Arizona to end Christen didn’t know how to feel. She had received her new duty station and fortunately was assigned with some of her friends from training, but she was still sad. She had to say good bye to so many amazing people and continue moving into a future of unknowns, after she had spent the last few months with a very set schedule and seeing the same people every day. This was something she had never been warned of in the military. Forming bonds with people and then having them ripped away. Though she knew that they would keep in contact it was still scary moving forward. 

She boarded her flight and popped her headphones in. She thought back to what the last few months had been for her. She was overwhelmed with the amazing memories she had formed from her training in the military. But she was even more overwhelmed when she realized how much she had overcome and grown as a person through her experiences. She was stronger, mentally and physically, than she ever knew she could have been. Christen knew she was strong enough to take on whatever was thrown at her next. 

She glanced out the window and watched the peaks of the snowcapped mountains disappear in the distance as they flew towards central Texas. 

_Here I come Fort Hood._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These first few chapters are going to be back story heavy and then once we get into the present time is when Tobin will be introduced. Originally when I was planning out this story it was going to be from Tobin's perspective but as I was writing it I realized that I felt more comfortable writing it for Christen. 
> 
> If you have any questions about any of the military phrasing I used please feel free to ask!
> 
> This is my first fic so I'm still figuring everything out!
> 
> Let me know what y'all think!


	2. The Brains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christen was new, and she hates being new. 
> 
> A new job. A new state across the country from her family. A new college with a completely different degree plan. 
> 
> Everything was changing and Christen had no idea why she had done this to herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter does touch on some mental health struggles that Christen goes through. But mainly focuses on her time in and getting out of the military.

The real Army was a lot different than Christen would have ever imagined. 

Once her and her friends had arrived to Fort Hood they had been separated and her friends shipped off to Korea to be with their unit. Now she was completely alone, in a state she had never been in, and working a job that she had absolutely no experience with. The school house didn’t train her on the day to day operations of her office. And the second she walked in the door she was the private who pulled the shit work that no one else wanted to do. 

Christen spent her days down at the motor pool watching the mechanics work on trucks that were never going to start up again, driving around running errands for her higher ups even though they would always end up taking the credit, and sitting at her desk staring at news articles because what else was she supposed to be doing. 

She received instant hate from other females in her unit. All of them assuming the new, pretty private would attempt to use her looks to get favoritism in order to get out of doing the hard work. None of them seeing how hard she worked to be given the responsibility of being more than just someone's assistant. And because of this Christen didn’t have any friends. The females didn’t want to talk to her and if she was seen spending too much time with any of the males people would assume something more was happening. There was no winning. 

So, Christen did the same thing every day. Physical training first thing in the morning, then work for the day sometimes even staying a few hours late after everyone had gone home just to finish the pile of other people’s tasks they had passed to her, and then to the barracks. She lived in a two-person room by herself, which was nice, but with no roommate it also meant she had no one to talk to after she got home at the end of the day. No one to go out to dinner with or have movie nights. 

She was alone. In so many more ways than one and for the first time since she joined the Army she was depressed. Christen didn’t realize it right away. She would work her full day, reveling in the time and conversations at work with people even if it was just surface level interaction, and then go straight to bed, sometimes without eating dinner, and sleep for 12+ hours until she woke up to go through the motions again. When her parents or sisters would call, she would always make up a story about the Army that would keep them entertained for the time being. 

It took months for Christen to realize what was happening and what she was doing to herself. She needed to pull herself out of her slump and make some friends. She had gotten closer to a fellow soldier in her office who advised her that maybe she should try to start dating, get out there and explore and what better way to do that than throw herself into the dating scene. 

Christen tried, she really did. She went on a few dates that included bland connections with subpar conversation. Christen had never been one for dating and forcing herself out there was bringing up all the pain of her first heartbreak. 

So, after a few attempts Christen instead took a different approach on distracting herself from her waning social life. She did what she did in AIT and threw herself into her Army career. She studied regulations and Army history, attending boards demonstrating her vast knowledge and working towards getting promoted above her fellow soldiers. She spent hours a day working out building up her fitness and keeping herself out of the solitary confinement her barracks room enforced. 

Things got better and Christen realized how far of a hole she had fallen into. She reached out to her family more often and stopped telling them lies, admitting to her parents how much she had struggled the last few months. Christen was uncomfortable, at first, reaching out and asking for help to keep herself from falling down again but realized how much better she felt. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

Christen was reaching the end of her first contract with the Army and she was once again at the crossroad of not knowing what to do with her future. She could either stay in the military doing subpar analytical work for things that she knew really made no difference in the larger matters of the world. Or, get out and get a job doing something that might actually make a difference. Using her training and minimal experience in the military to try and move into the civilian sector and climb that ladder instead. The decision turned out not to be too difficult. 

At the beginning of her time in the Army, Christen imagined making the military a career. Pull a full twenty years and get the retirement. In the beginning she loved what she did and felt the pride of serving her country. But she’s learned that the Army isn’t what she expected it to be. She had been mistreated and taken advantage of since coming to Fort Hood. There were many things she would like to forget about the military and move past, she no longer felt the pride she had when putting on the uniform every day. 

When it came closer to the end of her contract Christen was contacted by an organization that offered her an analyst position she couldn’t ignore. Though she had planned to move back to California to be closer to her family, this job was a once in a life time chance she had to accept, even if it was in Washington D.C. 

She had made the decision at 18 to leave her home and go after a future she had never dreamed of; she couldn’t run back now after not achieving anything remarkable. Christen wanted to make a difference and this job was her foot in the door of the private sector that could give her the chance to make that change she’d wished for. 

That’s how Christen found herself on a plane flying away from her past in the Army to her future as a civilian. Hopefully, this was the purpose she needed in her life. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

A few weeks into her new life and Christen could not be happier with her decision to take the job offer. Though she was still in training for the new position, she already loved it. She was reminded of her time in Arizona and how much she had loved learning so many new things. 

Christen realized now might be a good time to take advantage of her veteran benefits and try out the whole college thing. Growing up she had always imagined herself helping people, maybe as a medical doctor or a teacher. But sitting down to think about it now she knew exactly what she wanted to do. Christen couldn’t imagine studying anything other than psychology. She wanted to help people in a way that was meaningful to her. In a way that she had needed at points in her life. She chose to focus on child development and adolescence wanting to be able to help kids early on so that they didn’t go into adulthood as lost and confused as she had. 

Christen knew she was taking on a lot and starting so many things at once would really limit her social activity in a new place. But with everything she had gone through in the last few years she didn’t mind taking some time away from that scene. Things happened during her time at Fort Hood that she wouldn’t mind erasing from her memory and staying focused and busy gave her the distraction she needed. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Christen has been working her new position for about a month now after her training was completed. It was a highly intense job with a lot of pressure but she had known that coming in. She thinks back to her phone interview for the company and how the interviewer had warned her about all of this. How many people who started the job quite often quit early on do to not being able to handle the things they would see on a daily basis. But Christen was ready for it and good at keeping what she saw at work off her mind. The hardest adjustment for her had been pulling shift work. Four days of twelve-hour shifts and three days off, alternating between working the day and night shifts. And since she was new and wanting to make a good impression she was quite often volunteering for over time and holidays. 

All of her free time was spent doing school work and studying for a field that she was so excited to be learning about. Christen had found a new passion that came from studying psychology and only wished that she could finish her degree faster and start her work in the field. She was content with her current life. Unbothered by her nonexistent social life and happy to focus on her education and career even if that meant she wasn’t living the normal life of a 21 year old. 

Even though she was content her parents and sister were once again riding Christen to get out and make friends. To explore the beautiful historic area she was in and even get back into the dating scene. She can understand their concerns, having told them everything about how her loneliness in Texas had been the main cause of her fall into the darkness but she always avoided telling them about her dating life. Some things were just too hard to talk to your family about, even to deal with herself. She still wasn’t ready to open herself up to that and the last time she thought she was she had been taken advantage of. Hurt in a way she never thought was possible and would never let happen again. If that meant denying herself then she would. 

Christen has taken up studying and doing homework during her lunch breaks. Most of the analysts she worked with had similar personalities, fondly being nicknamed “the brains”, and would spend their breaks quietly to themselves spread out at a different lunch table not too interested in casual conversation. Christen doesn’t made at all, preferring the extra time to get assignments finished so she could have more time to herself when she was off. 

But, of course, in any lunch room there is going to be a rowdy table. Laughing loudly and talking about their nights out at the local clubs or the concerts they were going to see on their days off. Christen doesn’t mind their noise, unbothered by their cheerfulness, sometimes wishing that she was a part of the group. Making plans for nights out and happy hours with friends. She has picked up from some conversation that most of the members of the group are engineers. She isn’t quite sure what they would do through her company but assumed it was important just like every other position. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

It was a Tuesday and Christen was once again quietly eating lunch at a table alone, staring intently at her screen reading some medical journal article she needs to write her next essay on. 

Like most days she isn’t paying attention to those around her. She can hear the rambunctious group of engineers come in and gather around their table, starting up the usual conversation. Then she hears the chair in front of her pull out and feels the table move slightly as someone slides in and sets their lunch down. Christen fights herself from looking up, not wanting to encourage whoever it was to start up a conversation. She continues reading her article intent on finishing her first read through so that she is able to start on her notes before her lunch ends. 

“Hi.” 

Christen doesn’t look up pretending as if she didn’t hear the greeting. She is intrigued though; the girl’s voice is soft yet still a little hoarse like she had lost it the weekend before and was still recovering. 

“I’m Tobin.” 

Christen can hear the smirk in the girl’s words. Her eyes flit up to the person across from her and of course she is greeted by an easy smile on the girl’s face. The girl, Tobin, has a strong jaw and her slightly wavy brown hair is pulled up tight into a ponytail. Her brown eyes staring intently at Christen waiting for a response. 

Christen doesn’t concede, choosing instead to look down once again at her screen searching for her lost place in the article. 

“What’re you reading about?” 

Christen chuckles to herself. This girl is set on getting her attention so she might as well give her something. Hopefully it’ll end the questioning. Green eyes look up meeting the brown ones across from her. 

“An article on the Stanford Prison Experiment.” 

“Oh... what’s that about?” Tobin reaches for more trying to gain traction on the little bit Christen has given her. 

Christen gives a small smile realizing that Tobin is not one to give up. She doesn’t want to continue the talk, though she is intrigued by the girl, she has work to do and doesn’t feel like being distracted. As she starts packing up her things, she can feel Tobin shift uncomfortably in her seat, probably questioning what she did wrong. 

As Christen swings her bag over her shoulder and moves to push her chair in she looks up at Tobin, cocking her eyebrow she says, “You should look it up. It’s pretty interesting.” 

She makes her way to the door and can feel the brown eyes follow her out.


	3. How Bold of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christen can't help but notice Tobin more often as Tobin insists on getting to know her.

Christen woke up the next morning, early as always, and went through the motions of getting ready for her day. Starting with a short yoga session followed by a quick shower and soon found herself standing in front of her closet. She has adjusted to her change in work attire, from her army uniform to business wear, but still often found herself spending way to long picking out what to wear for the day. It’s not that she wanted to look nice for anyone in particular (though her lunchtime interaction the day before was still on her mind) but she always felt the need to dress in order to blend in. She didn’t want to stand out more than she already did in a male dominated work place. 

As Christen arrived at work and quickly made her way into the building she spotted a group standing near an outdoor section of table talking and drinking coffee. Her attention was immediately drawn to familiar golden-brown hair pulled tight into a pony tail. Tobin was seated on a table top, feet crossed on the bench attached, leaning back on her forearms laughing at something that was said. 

She couldn’t help but notice that her position showed off how athletically built she was; biceps flexing to support her weight, navy blue polo tucked in tightly showing the subtle outline of a toned stomach, and cargo pants filled in nicely by muscular legs. The uniform was that of all the other engineers but Tobin wore it exceptionally well. 

When her eyes finally made it back up to Tobin’s face she was met with bright eyes and a big smile. Tobin had definitely caught her staring and she was mortified by the realization. Christen offered up a small smile and a nod before dropping her face to the floor and speeding up her walk to the building. 

Christen rushed to secure her bag in her locker and slid into her seat five minutes before her morning brief began. 

“Good morning, Chris. You’re looking a little flustered. You okay?” Julie’s observation took her by surprise. She hadn’t realized that she was still blushing from her stare down with Tobin just minutes before. 

She smiled before responding, “Oh, yah. I’m good. Just ready to get the day started. I’m going to grab a cup of coffee; do you want one?” 

Julie nodded yes and looked back down at the paperwork in her lap. 

Chris needed to get herself together. She wasn’t one to get flustered easily, especially just from eye contact with someone who was basically a stranger. She chastised herself for allowing such a small interaction to take up space in her mind. Pushing everything Tobin from her thoughts she made her way back towards her seat and focused on her work for the day. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------- 

By the time her lunch break came around Christen had completely forgotten about the morning’s events and was excited to take a break and get some homework done. She had finished the notes she needed for her essay the day before, despite the interruption, and had started a rough draft of her assignment. 

She took the same seat as always and pulled everything out so she could start working while she picked at her lunch. Quickly becoming enraptured with her thoughts, she didn’t even notice someone slide into the seat in front of her. 

Tobin sat there quietly taking in the woman before her. She may not know her name yet but she hadn’t been able to get the girl off her mind since the moment she first saw her. She was dressed very similarly to that first day; dark hair pulled up tightly into a bun, a white button-down blouse that made her tan skin look even more beautiful, and not-to-tight black slacks (probably careful to wear anything that might draw more attention to her figure than she’d like). Tobin thought the woman was gorgeous and had finally hyped herself up enough to approach her in hopes of getting to know more. 

“So... do you think they should have stopped the experiment right after they had to release the first prisoner? Or that they did the right thing by trying to continue despite the things that were going wrong?” 

Christen’s head shot up upon hearing the familiar voice across from her. Tobin was looking at her intently with questioning eyes, genuinely interested in what Christen had to say. 

“You did research?” Chris was surprised that the girl would actually take time out of her day to look up something that she had suggested in a teasing manner. 

Tobin seemed pleased with herself having caught the green-eyed woman by surprise. “Well, you said I should and that it was interesting. I trust your judgement. Plus, it must be intriguing for you to be so focused on it every day.” 

She followed her sentence with an arched eyebrow as she took a bite of her food, clearly waiting for Christen’s response. 

Christen was looking into Tobin’s eyes trying to decide if she should feed into the girl’s statement. There was something about her brown eyes that felt genuine, like she honestly wanted to know Christen’s thoughts on the subject and wasn’t just searching for an opening in conversation. 

“It’s for school. Though I do find the experiment interesting it isn’t a topic I would focus on casually.” 

“What are you going to school for? Psychology?” 

“Broadly, yes.” 

Tobin’s eyes lit up with new found interest. “Are you focusing on something specific with your degree?” 

“You know you sure ask a lot of questions.” Christen scanned the woman’s face as she spoke. “Why do you want to know so much about me?” 

“Well, I see you sitting here every day by yourself, so focused on your work. You seemed like someone who would hold an engaging conversation so I thought why not?” 

Christen couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face. Tobin was so charming and she clearly knew it. It would be useless for her to deny that she didn’t enjoy talking to the brown-eyed woman but she really needed to get some work done. 

“I’m flattered. And I’m sorry but I do have work I need to get done.” 

“I understand. Is it okay if I still sit here? I promise not to bother you.” Tobin’s eyes crinkled with the smile that spread across her face. Chris had no idea why she would want to just sit here in silence when she had friends to talk to but she wasn’t one to judge. 

Christen nodded towards Tobin’s request and then looked back down continuing with her work. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

The next day, Tobin once again joined Christen for lunch. Asking a few initial questions and then turning her attention to her phone allowing Chris to work in peace. 

As Christen was packing up her things towards the end of her break a thought crossed her mind that surprised her. 

“Tobin, do you even know my name?” She couldn’t believe out of all the questions she had been asked that Tobin still had never shown an interest in learning that detail. 

Tobin looked startled by the question as a pink blush spread across her cheeks. She glanced up to Christen’s face and nervously rubbed the back of her neck. “Um, well I.. uh.. No I don’t. I guess I just figured you would tell me when you wanted to.” 

Christen couldn’t hold in the giggle that escaped her lips, which turned out to be probably the most amazing thing Tobin has ever heard. 

“How bold of you to assume that I would give up information without being asked.” Christen paired the sentence with a slow smirk and a wink as she rose from her chair to leave. 

Tobin was frozen in her seat with the image of Christen winking at her racing through her mind over and over again. She almost didn’t realize Christen was talking again until she noticed her giving a questioning look. 

“Um, I’m sorry. What did you say?” 

Christen chuckled and repeated, “My name’s Christen.” 

Tobin smiled in response thinking that it was such a perfect name for the beautiful woman standing before her. 

“I’m off until Sunday, by the way.” 

Tobin had to pause and think about what today was, “Oh yah, me too.” 

Christen smiled down sweetly, “Well, I guess I’ll see you on Sunday Tobin.” She turned and headed for the door. 

“I’ll see you Sunday, Christen.” 

She didn’t turn back but threw a small wave over her shoulder. Tobin had said her name so quietly, as if she was whispering it so that no one else would hear what she had just learned about the woman. 

And Christen couldn’t help the smile and blush that spread across her cheeks as she thought that the way Tobin spoke her name was the absolute favorite way she had ever heard it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are moving along and Tobin is being charming as always. 
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy!

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what y'all think!  
> Come talk to me @kcashmoney on tumblr :)


End file.
